


Saying I Love You Is More Difficult Than I Thought

by LordOfThePoptarts



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Communication, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Frottage, Getting Together, Healthy Relationships, Injury, M/M, Miscommunication, One Shot Collection, Peapod McHanzo Week, Superheroes, Sweet Sex, Vigilantism, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-03 08:12:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17280344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfThePoptarts/pseuds/LordOfThePoptarts
Summary: Saying Hanzo and McCree were always on the same page would be an exaggeration. In battle they were seamless, two people become one, an awe inspiring weapon of destruction. But off the battlefield it can get a bit more...complicated. There are unwritten rules, boundaries, hidden ques, almost too many factors to keep track of, but they're trying and that's what really matters.(A series of one shots focusing on communicaton for Peapod Mchanzo Week)





	1. Wait a Minute (Prompt: Roomates)

“Are you ever going to tell me where you go at night?” Jesse jumped and spun around barely managing to catch the mug he’d been holding before it would’ve shattered on the floor.

“Jesus Christ Hanzo!” He held his his hand to his chest, slowing his startled breaths. “You gotta warn a man, swear to god I’m gonna get you a bell or something…” He sighed and set the mug down on the counter before there could be anymore potential glass related disasters. Hanzo hopped onto one of their kitchen barstools and raised an eyebrow, clearly getting comfortable in anticipation of a long conversation.

McCree sighed and rubbed his hands over his face in only the way someone who is truly exhausted can. He hoisted himself onto the counter, ignoring Hanzo’s small grumble about being sanitary. It wasn’t like Hanzo didn’t clean the kitchen on his days off, besides that’s what they had those dumb clorox wipes for anyway. 

He fiddled with the handle of the mug, stewing in the silence that permeated the space between them. He opened his mouth then shut it, when he realized he didn’t exactly know what to say. There was no good way to tell your roommate that hey, the stupid masked vigilante you always rant about, and say you hate? Well that’s actually me and I go out at night to go do “stupid masked vigilante stuff” and I didn’t want to tell you because I’m kinda in love with you and I don’t want you to hate me forever, because we’ve been getting along really well lately and I think you might like me back. Yeah that’d gonna go over real well. 

“Look, Hanzo.” He said purposely not meeting Hanzo’s eyes. “It’s complicated okay?”

“I really don’t think it is.” Hanzo replied and McCree looked at him directly for the first time all night, shooting him his most incredulous look.

“Then I assume I can go to bed now, like I’ve been wanted to do for this whole conversation and the whole night.” He stretched his arms over his head, his spine making a loud pop.

“Not quite.” Hanzo still didn’t move and McCree was pretty much over this conversation at this point.

“Hanzo.” McCree hopped off the counter set the mug he’d been holding in the vacated space. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I got work in the morning and I don’t really have time for this. Can’t it wait till like tomorrow or something?”

This time it was Hanzo’s turn to sigh as he carefully set a bundle of fabric on the counter between them. An instant spike of recognition shot through McCree as he saw the clothes he’d just been wearing not even an hour ago on patrol placed before him. The unmistakable blue scarf taunted him from atop the pile. He fought to keep his face neutral and looked at Hanzo slowly, calmly, and not at all panicked like he felt inside. 

“What’s that?” Playing dumb was the usually best bet with these sorts of things. 

Hanzo rolled his eyes, “Don’t play dumb, it’s unbecoming Mystery Man. Which by the way, is a horrible name even if the man behind it is as handsome as you are.”

McCree’s brain short-circuited, “Uh...what?”

Hanzo smiled and shook his head, standing up from the barstool to stand directly in front of McCree.

“For someone with a secret identity you’re not very good at keeping it a secret, Jesse.” Hanzo kept walking towards McCree and McCree kept backpedaling until his back hit the edge of the sink, trapping him between Hanzo and the counter. He thought he knew the meaning of trapped between a rock and a hard place before, but goddamn was he wrong. His eyes flicked up to the window, pondering the consequences of just jumping out of it. He may seek out conflict and fighting crime as Mystery Man, but Jesse was nothing if not an expert at conflict avoidance in his daily life.

“Jesse, I swear to god if you even think about jumping out the window, I’ll kill you before the fall does.” Hanzo’s face was stern, the playful expression he wore earlier vanishing. Hanzo took a step back, giving McCree some space. “I’m sorry, I just thought you were interested.” Hanzo took another step back. “But I see now that’s not the case.”

“Hon--Hanzo, wait!” McCree grabbing Hanzo by the shoulder as he turned to walk away. “You’re gonna give me fucking whiplash, can we just…” He let go of Hanzo and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “We need to start at square one or something, because I am getting all kinds of signals from you right now, and not that I don’t appreciate it.” He grabbed both of Hanzo’s shoulders this time for emphasis as he turned Hanzo to face him completely. “And I really really do appreciate almost all the signals I am getting right now.” Hanzo rolled his eyes and a small blush made itself known on his face, almost completely derailing McCree’s train of thought. “But I really think we need to sit down and have a talk first.”

Hanzo looked sufficiently cowed, “I suppose I did go about this all backwards.”

McCree smiled as the two of them walked the short distance to their living room, “Backwards doesn’t really begin to cover it, but sure we’ll go with that.”

Hanzo shot him a glare and settled down on the couch, making sure there was a noticeable amount of distance between him and McCree. 

“So…” The silence that stretched between the two of them was painfully awkward, neither of them really sure where to start.

“I just wanted--”

“I’m really sorry--”

The two of them broke off laughing at their attempts to talk over each other, and seeing Hanzo smile made dealing with the awkwardness worth it.

“You go first.” Hanzo said gesturing towards McCree.

“I’m sorry for not telling you, but,” McCree paused nervously combing his hands through his hair, “I mean it’s pretty obvious why I didn’t tell you, I guess.”

Hanzo hummed in acknowledgement. “I’m not angry about that.”

“You’re not?” McCree replied confused, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

“It’d be ridiculous to be angry at you for something sensible like that.” Hanzo scoffed. “What an excellent cliche, I’m mad at you for protecting yourself and therefore my life from things that want to kill both of us.”

McCree huffed, a small laugh bubbling out of his chest, “I suppose that does sound like some comics bullshit.” He paused, furrowing his brow. “But you are angry…?” 

“Jesse, it’s…” Hanzo sighed deeply. “It’s complicated.”

McCree smirked, “I don’t think it is.”

Hanzo barked out a laugh and leaned forward to lightly punch McCree in the shoulder. “Don’t be an ass.”

“Honey you seemed to be all about my ass earlier.” Hanzo groaned and buried his face in his hands while McCree laughed. “I’m sorry, I’ll be nice.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts.” Hanzo said smiling while McCree held a hand to his heart in mock offense. 

“I think it’s my turn to ask a question.” McCree said and Hanzo gestured for him to continue. The gap between them having shrunk noticeably. “How did you know?”

“McCree, I’ve done your laundry before.” Hanzo stated shooting him an exasperated look. “And you constantly come back into the house in the middle of the night and looking like you got your ass kicked in a bar fight. I have seen you enter the apartment in costume more than once.”

McCree winced, “I knew I should have gotten you that bell.”

Hanzo smirked, “Like I wouldn’t have just taken it off.” 

“And the laundry?” McCree continued. “I only ever washed the suit when it was my turn, or when you were gone.”

“Almost only ever washed the suit when it was your turn.” Hanzo replied, watching McCree’s face as he clearly tried to remember when he slipped up.

Hanzo sighed, bridging the gap between them completely. “It was the time you were completely bedridden with your injuries, you’d already changed hidden everything by the time I found you, which was a miracle given the fact that I had to suture multiple lacerations to stop you from bleeding to death!”

McCree smiled weakly, “The pros of having a nurse as a roommate.”

Hanzo groaned in exasperation, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Of course that’s your takeaway.” He rested his hand on top of McCree’s. “The point is, you weren’t able to hide the suit completely and I found it, I was already suspicious of your injuries when I saw the fight on the news that night, and the suit only confirmed it. Everything after that was just me seeing things clearly finally.”

“Is that why you stopped talking about how much you hated Mystery man?” McCree murmured, he wouldn’t make eye contact. “Do you still hate him, or I guess me.”

Hanzo gently took McCree’s face in his hand, turning him to look Hanzo in the eyes. “Jesse, I could never hate you.” McCree made to turn his face away but Hanzo didn’t lessen his grip, “Jesse look at me.” Jesse did not turn. 

“Look me in the eye...please.” Jesse still didn’t look up and Hanzo sighed, letting go of Jesse’s face and giving him the moment he clearly wanted. He joined their hands together and gave Jesse’s a light squeeze instead.

”Everything I said was because of how many people I see everyday come into the ER looking just like you did when I found out. Do you know how many of them die despite my best efforts, Jesse? Do you know how hard it is for me to see someone I love recklessly risking their life and there is nothing I can do to help. I didn’t hate Mystery Man, Jesse. I hated how I’d see people come through everyday who tried to do what you did and failed. I hated having to tell their families there was nothing I could do, because their idiot kid thought he could stop a bullet and I couldn’t get to him in time. That’s why I hated Mystery Man, in a way I suppose I still hate him.” He sighed, bone deep, and it shuddered through his whole body. “I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. But I hate the fact that any moment you could be taken away from me, because justice doesn’t dispense itself or whatever other nonsense you have in that head of yours.” Hanzo sighed once more, clearly struggling. “But I know there’s no way I could stop you, and I’m not sure I would if I could. You...you bring hope to people. You bring hope to me. And all I can do is offer to give you hope too. Hope that you’ll always have someone to come back too.”

McCree slowly looked up from their conjoined hands to Hanzo’s face. He looked so vulnerable, like for once he was an open book for McCree to read as he liked. Hanzo’s normal gruff facade was nowhere to be found, and it’s place all that was left was the concern and fear and love written across Hanzo’s face. It seemed so obvious now, McCree wasn’t sure how he missed it before. 

How he missed how Hanzo remembered how he took his coffee and went out of his way to make it for him, even when both of them were rushing out the door. How Hanzo would gripe and complain about watching McCree’s cooking shows, but always got so invested in the outcome and contestants anyway. How he’d rant to McCree about his coworkers in the ER and sometimes tell McCree in the quiet early hours of the morning how much losing a patient hurt. How he stitched McCree up time after time after time. How he hadn’t told anyone. How he’d stayed.

“Oh.” That was all McCree could think to say.

“Yes, oh.” Hanzo replied pulling him into a deep kiss, that felt like the floating feeling you get when a plane takes off, or when you’re racing down a straightaway at 100 miles an hour with the radio blasting and the whole night in front of you, or the sense of peace you get when you just stop and look at, really look at, the stars for the first time in years and understand how amazing it is that you’re standing there, that you exist, that you’re still alive. It felt like the world was ending and beginning all at once and McCree never wanted it to stop. It felt exactly like hope.

 


	2. You're a Walking Cliche, But I Love You For It (Prompt: AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get more dangerous than usual for Mystery Man when he faces off against The Destroyer. It turns out being a vigilante is very different from being a superhero.

“Is that all you got!” Mystery Man yelled as he avoided the stream of fire gushing from the mech’s guns. He felt the heat singe his back and felt the hairs on the back of his neck crackle. He spun around quickly grunting from the exertion of the fight, but leveled his Peacekeeper and fired a barrage of six bullets straight into the glass of the cockpit.

The glass buckled and splintered. The concrete beneath him shook and thundered with a great crack as the The Destroyer screamed out enraged and rushed towards him. He barely dodged out of way of the mech’s assault this time. His chest heaved with the strain. This fight had been going on far too long for comfort, and he could feel it in the searing ache of his muscles and the stutter in his shooting arm. He just had to hold her off while he waited for Overwatch to arrive. Sometimes he wanted to strangle those guys with how fashionably late they tended to be. 

Overhead a newscopter circled, capturing the whole scene in grisly detail. Mystery Man did his best to keep the damage minimal, but there wasn’t much he could do when he was doing his best to stay alive in the face of an eight foot mech and it’s maniacal pilot. Collateral damage was to be expected. 

Hanzo had finally gotten a day off after a run of long shifts and both him and McCree had plans to stay in, have a romantic dinner, and watch a few movies that the two of them had had sitting in their netflix queue for far too long. Now, McCree might’ve been a vigilante but he wasn’t an idiot. He patrolled and did his best to keep the city safe, but more often than not, he stopped crimes by calling the cops and letting them arrest whatever drunk idiot was trying to rob a convenience store. He’d step in if things looked like they were going south, but if he fought every criminal in the city every night, there wouldn’t be enough time in the day to deal with them all. This had the positive outcome of not having a totally positive relationship with the police, because vigilantism, but a relationship of non interaction. A don’t fuck with me, I won’t fuck with you situation. They’d see him at the scene, nod, or in some case glare holes into the back of his head, and go on their way. It was nice, because occasionally justice needs to sleep, and or have a day off, and sharing basic intel with police was the best way to go about that. Today was not going to be one of those days.

Jesse had just finished prepping dinner and was placing it in the oven, when he heard the unmistakable chime of an emergency news broadcast bulletin. He had put the news on for background noise, but couldn’t help the groan that ripped itself out of him. D.va aka The Destroyer was ravaging the downtown area, for fun, again. That was the only negative of being a vigilante, not a superhero, vigilante. 

It was an important distinction. Superheros had powers; flight, invincibility, laser eyes, super strength. You have an unobtainable power; you’re a superhero. As a vigilante, McCree was just a normal guy with better than average aim, military training, and pretty damn good luck, who decided why not face down people who are infinitely more powerful than me, and somehow win. Somewhere, Darwin was rolling in his grave. The main negative to being a vigilante rather than a superhero was he had to face down literal dragon teenagers piloting eight foot mechs with a six shooter, flash bangs, and a hope and a prayer. 

McCree sighed and pulled out his phone, finger hovering over the call button. He grimaced as the call immediately went to voicemail. Either Hanzo had his phone off, or he’d already seen the bulletin. McCree bet it was the latter as he stared at the coming home text Hanzo had sent just fifteen minutes ago. McCree suited up, left a note on the counter with instructions for dinner and a detailed apology, and walked out the door. He wanted to get this over with quickly, because sometimes Justice just really fucking wanted a day off.

Which landed him in the hot water he was in now. Low on ammo, will, and patience.

D.va The Destroyer let out her classic hyperactive giggle, “Getting tired, Mystery Man! This isn’t even my final form” 

Mystery Man groaned, “Jesus, you play too many video games kid.”  
D.va yelled outraged, “No one calls me a kid!” 

The mech charged at him again before he could get in a retort. 

McCree was so tired.

He saw the mech flying towards him.

He made an attempt to dodge out of the way, but his legs felt like rubber.

The impact came as no surprise.

Neither did the pain.

That didn’t stop the scream ripping out of his throat as the concrete wall he’d been thrown into buckled around him. 

McCree blinked slowly, eyes heaving and drooping. The Destroyer was just a blur in front of him, but she seemed to be doing some sort of victory dance. His head felt like someone ripped it open a replaced his brain with a million cotton balls. He grunted, attempted to get his body to respond to basic movements, even mustering up the energy to crawl away, somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t here. All he received in return was crippling pain. 

His stomach rolled and he managed to throw himself onto his side as the vomit ejected from his mouth, pooling on the pavement. His body was made of pain. Every joint, every nerve, every muscle, was alight and burned with a white hot fire. McCree wanted to laugh at the sheer gall of the universe, but every breath he took felt like someone had let a chainsaw loose in his chest cavity, grating, gnawing, and absolutely terrifying.

He felt his head loll and squish against the puddle of vomit. Distantly he was aware of explosions and gunfire, but that was far from being the first thing on his mind. McCree thought, not for the first time in his life, that he was going to die. He was going to die alone and bleeding out in front of national television and Hanzo was going to watch it all happen.

A jolt went through him. Hanzo.

He tried to groan Hanzo’s name, call for him, but it came out slurred and distorted to his concussed brain, sounding more like a pained rattle than anything comforting. 

Overhead the sky was dark and roiling, the newscopter long since landed for fear of the approaching storm. McCree felt the first drops of rain hit his face as he lazily turned his eyes skyward, struggling to maintain consciousness. Funny, Hanzo always loved storms. McCree felt a frown tug at his lips, he hoped Hanzo didn’t hate storms now, he hoped Hanzo didn’t hate him. 

The world exploded in a blue flash and McCree let himself succumb to the dark.

McCree awoke slowly and then all at once. The white light pierced his eyes and a creaking groan wrangled itself from his dry throat. His body ached like he’d been run over by a semi truck and then had a building collapse on him. He shut his eyes tightly blocked out the light attempting to limit the number of confusing stimuli assaulting his senses. A steady beep made itself known somewhere to his right and he heard the hum of LED’s above him. Taking a steading breath, he slowly opened his eyes, expecting the sensitivity this time. 

The light still hurt, but he waited it out, and blinked a few times to clear some sleep that had gathered in the corners of his eyes. He tried to sit up, going as fast as he dared, but a bolt of pain lanced through his torso before he could fully rise. He fell back against the pillow with a gasp and waited out the pain again. 

Once the pain had receded, he tried again. This time he slowly inched himself up higher on the hospital bed, stopping just shy of the point where the pain would’ve started again. He took stock of himself. His chest was littered with dark purple bruises as large as his fist. He could see the tail end of a sutured incision that started right under his left pectoral. He was connected to a significant amount of machines, but could easily see places on his body where there had been more attached. His chest stuttered as he tried to take a deep breath. Hanzo was going to kill him.

Hanzo!

He let his eyes drift around the room before stopping on a figure slumped, fast asleep, in the chair next to his bed. Hanzo looked rough to say the least. He didn’t even look peaceful in sleep. His eyes were scrunched tight and his eyebrow furrowed and his whole posture was tight and stiff. His forearm had a bandage wrapped around it that looked new, and now that McCree was paying attention, he could see some minor bruising and cuts elsewhere on his partner.

“Han--” His throat croaked as he tried to speak and he broke off in a coughing fit, that send waves of sharp pain running through his chest again. 

Hanzo was up like a shot at the noise. He wrestled himself out of the small chair and poured McCree a glass of water, practically forcing him to drink it after the coughing died down.

“Hanzo…” McCree slowly raised a hand and put it against Hanzo’s face, lightly tracing one of the fading bruises there. “What happened baby?”

Hanzo let out a rough laugh and shook his head, “You wake up in a hospital bed with who knows how many injuries, and of course the first thing you ask about it me.”

“‘Course, you’re my honey bee.” Hanzo barked a laugh again and dragged the chair he’d been sleeping in forward, closer to the bed.

“I am fine, how are you feeling.”

“Slightly less like I got thrown into a building.”

Hanzo smiled softly before sighing running his hand through McCree’s hair, “That is progress I suppose.”

“What about you sugar? You know I always think you look beautiful, but you’re looking a little roughed up.”

The smile slid right off Hanzo’s face replaced with the stone impassive mask McCree remembered from their first meeting.

McCree frowned, “Hanzo--”

Hanzo held up a hand and McCree fell silent.

“What do you remember after The Destroyer threw you into the building.” Hanzo said.

“Not much...just a really bright light and then I passed out.”

Hanzo squirmed a little in his seat, allowing some discomfort to show, “Jesse, there’s something I need to tell you.”

 

McCree sat in stunned silence, the only sound in the room was the hum and beep of the machines and their breathing.

“So let me see if I got this straight,” McCree started looking at Hanzo. “You used to be a major superhero in this city and were a part of Overwatch with your brother, who is Sentai Ranger, and you were Cyber Ninja. You quit because you wanted a normal life, finished nursing school, got a job, and thus moved in with me on pure chance. You figured out pretty quick that I was a vigilante but didn’t say anything, and had no desire to get back in the crime-fighting game so you left it be, until I almost died fighting The Destroyer, so you suited up, fought her, and stopped her using the power of two supernatural lighting dragons...did I miss anything.”

“No.” Was the quiet reply that came from Hanzo, he wasn’t looking at McCree, instead staring at their conjoined hands like it was the end of the world.

“Darlin’ if I wasn’t combined to a hospital bed, I would be all over you right now.”

Hanzo’s head shot up, “What!”

“Did you know I had the biggest crush on you, while you were in Overwatch, even had a poster.” Hanzo sputtered out a laugh, “It was true! Couldn’t see half your damn face, but I didn’t need to with half your fucking chest out.”

Hanzo let his laughter die down, before settling into something more solemn, “You’re not mad?”

McCree sighed and felt Hanzo tense, but he lightly squeezed Hanzo’s hand until his settled again, “I feel like I should be, but honestly I knew you were hiding something from me. You always knew just a little too much about all this stuff, that I figured you had to be involved somehow. I was just waiting for you to come around.”

“Oh.” Hanzo said seemingly a little stunned, but McCree barreled on.

“This doesn’t change anything.” Hanzo shot McCree an incredulous look and McCree couldn’t help but laugh, “Ok, ok, it does a little bit. What I meant is...this doesn’t change how I feel about you.” McCree brought their hands up and left a light kiss on Hanzo’s hand. “I still want to wake up with you every day, want to fall asleep next to you everyday, and kiss you every chance I get. I still love you.”

Hanzo’s answering smile felt like it was bright enough to light up the whole room, “I love you as well.” He left a light kiss on McCree’s lips, that was almost ruined by how much the two of them were smiling.

McCree could still see some doubt lingering in Hanzo’s eyes though, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, you know that right?” Hanzo nodded but McCree pressed on. “I am not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, you wanna be a nurse and nothing else. I’ll support you. You want to get back in the game, hell yeah let me suit up. You want me to quit…” McCree took as deep a breath as he dared, “I’ll quit. You say the word.”

Hanzo shook his head and kissed McCree again, even softer this time. “I won’t make you quit, but you have to promise to do your best to call me from now on before you get over your head. I’m here to help you.”

“I promise.” McCree said and felt a zing of lighting run between them. 

“And I promise to try to tell you everything from now on.” Hanzo replied. “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, or get it right all the time, but I will try.”

“That’s all I can ask of you sugar, and that’s all you can ask of me.” McCree smiled and pressed another kiss to Hanzo’s lips. Silently making a promise to himself to kiss Hanzo as often as he could as much as he could for as long as he’d have him.

“I love you.” Hanzo said it again, like it was it’s own promise, like it was the only one he knew he’d never break.

“I love you.” McCree said it like a gift, like it was something he’d never stop offering, like it was something he’d never devalue.

“You are so stupid sometimes, I can’t help but kiss you.” It sounded like ‘I can’t lose you,’ ‘You mean everything,’ ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ ‘I can’t stop you but please come home.’

“Well if that’s all I need to do I’ll just have to keep being stupid, now won’t I?” Their lips met for the millionth time that night and McCree poured everything he could into it. The kiss was awkward and stitled, too many machines and injuries in the way to make it comfortable, it wasn’t perfect, but it was a try. That was all either of them could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More superhero au! Fun fact when I started prepping this it was right after I saw Into the Spiderverse and this was originally gonna have McCree be Spiderman in both last chapter and this one, but I nixed that idea in the end.   
> Skins used for Designs:  
> McCree's Mystery Man Skin  
> D.va's D.va The Destroyer Skin from Heroes of the Storm   
> Hanzo's Cyberninja skin.


	3. I Want to Talk to You, But It's so Hard Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Jesse need to talk, specifically about how they talk to each other.

Hanzo was starting to wonder if he didn't say I love you enough again. Compared to Jesse, who showered him with compliments and endearments and I love you's every day, Hanzo seemed to say it only once every blue moon. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he did, but it just didn’t come naturally to him the way it did to Jesse. Saying the expression itself wasn’t difficult, and he’d said it on more than one occasion that wasn’t life-threatening or during a fight. They’d been dating for over six months now, and pining for longer, but Hanzo still found himself struggling to say it with any seeming regularity. 

It never felt like a deliberate choice to withhold those words. It never even felt like he was withholding them. They just had to feel right, and he didn’t always know when right was. A few weeks ago he remembered whispering it in the quiet of their bedroom while the final credits of the movie they’d been watching rolled, and Jesse had beamed like he’d given him the entire universe on a platter. That had felt right, he always felt like he loved Jesse but that particular moment it bubbled up inside him and overflowed leading to the saying the words Jesse almost seemed desperate to hear. Moments like that were the most common times for him to tell Jesse. Mostly because he still couldn’t believe he still got to have moments like that, hands held under of the covers and heads pressed to shoulders, soft words and even softer kisses. He felt like it was a miracle he was able to have those experiences at all. Yet, the moments where the two of them were able to actually sit down and spend uninterrupted periods of time together were few and far between. Jesse had his patrols and his day job and Hanzo was always on call. It was rare their schedules would match up and give them a whole night together.

Jesse said I love you like it was a never ending resource that was always overflowing and always available . The man said it endlessly, for every occasion and no reason at all. Hanzo just...didn’t. Hanzo felt his slow was more like a glacier, slow but still moving forward all the time. You just had to take the time to look. Hanzo tried to show Jesse his love through the little things. Doing the dishes even though both of them are tired and about to drop, noticing and remembering to pick up Jesse’s favorite beard oil when it was running low, massages when the phantom pain hit, gifts simply to give a gifts, spending time with him every second he could even when his whole day was booked, even if it was just for fifteen minutes. He didn’t think Jesse saw what he was trying to say though, what was written in between the lines of every action and minute spent together.

Hanzo watched Jesse chat with Lena across the room from him. After he’d donned the role of Cyber Ninja saving Jesse, Overwatch had quickly gotten in contact with him again, sussing out his intentions and Jesse’s by proxy. It took an unbearably long meeting to get everything settled, but by the end it was clear. Hanzo would only don Cyber Ninja in the case of immense emergencies which included world ending apocalypses and rescuing Jesse when he got in over his head. Jesse, on the other hand, was given access to Overwatch resources and a communicator to get in touch with the team if needed. They were a part of the team while simultaneously not being a part of the team. Hanzo by choice and Jesse because his lack of superpowers would leave him far to vulnerable to go on most missions, despite his aim being just that good, as Jesse tried to argue. Jesse had pouted for a while after the decision came down, bemoaning the unfairness of it all. He’d shut up pretty quickly when he saw the aftermath of one of Overwatch’s rougher missions. Genji had taken far too many hits and been stuck in the med bay for over a month, Hanzo almost never left his side. Jesse had quickly stopped asking for full agent status after that. He seemed, for the most part, happy to stick to his position as the watch on low level crime in the area. That wasn’t to say Jesse wasn’t important, he’d significantly decreased the amount of calls from local police enforcement asking for help managing crime rates in the area, freeing up more resources for Overwatch to keep track of bigger fish. 

Hanzo sighed nursing the drink Jesse had managed to slip him earlier. His partner had been dragged away near the start of the party by some of the younger agents at the base under the guise of mixing drinks and he’d yet had a chance to return, only being able to get away long enough to slip Hanzo the drink and a small I love you. Hanzo replied with a small smile, a hum, and a quick kiss to Jesse’s cheek, receiving a small frown in response from Jesse. That small moment is what had spurred his current train of thought, and possible emotional downward spiral, judging by the anxiety building in his chest.

They’d spoken about it once before, his failure to be a participant in his own relationship, as Jesse had harshly put it. The fight had been after a particularly rough mission. One of the rare world ending apocalypses that required Hanzo’s skills. There had been one too many close calls for comfort for everyone involved, but everyone had come home; slightly battered, but safe. Jesse had been running the comms for the mission and had run up to Hanzo afterwards, practically drowning him in pet names and sweet nothings. Hanzo had passed the mental exit sign for overwhelmed five hours ago and had snapped at the deluge of attention, rudely telling Jesse to back off and tone the affection down. Jesse snapped right back.

Everything Jesse had been holding in seemed to burst forth. He yelled at Hanzo, for not saying I love you enough, for not spending more time with Jesse, not going out for dates at every opportunity, and had accused him of not loving him in the first place, that he’d been using their relationship as a guise to get Jesse regulated by Overwatch. 

Hanzo had been going for 18 hours and was far beyond overstimulated and ready to fall over from stress and anxiety. It took every last piece of his willpower to swallow the meltdown as it built, not fall to the tarmac and crawl into the cargo hold of the ORCA to escape the world and all it’s noise for a few moments. 

Hanzo didn’t do any of that though. Hanzo stayed up and talked to Jesse. He did not run away, he reached out, and talked. It took more than an hour for Jesse to calm down, and by that time Hanzo had run out of spoons and energy. The momentary adrenaline of the previous argument having long since faded. By the time Jesse had calmed down fully, Hanzo was ready to roll over and accept any terms if it meant he could shower and go to bed. He promised Jesse he would say I love you in response when it was said to him, say it of his own will more than every once in a while, have more endearments for him, and so on. By the end of the conversation, Jesse at least had the decency to look sheepish, more than likely finally noticing the strain on Hanzo. Apologies were exchanged as were I love you’s and Hanzo went to bed. 

The next morning Hanzo had said I love you almost too much, overcompensating and unsure of the new normal he’d found himself thrust into. He ran out of spoons midday, ran out of energy reserves by evening, and was ready to collapse by the time night rolled around. Hanzo loved Jesse he did, but social interactions weren’t effortlessly, they weren’t easy. They took energy and some planning and Hanzo couldn’t help but feel like McCree had just asked him to become the spokesperson for their relationship. All talk no meaning. Hanzo did his best over the next few months, and Jesse had clearly adjusted his those demands since that night. He took more time to notice Hanzo’s energy levels, and let it slide more than once when Hanzo wouldn’t reply to an I love you or not say it at all during a day.  However, Hanzo felt like Jesse was growing frustrated with him this past month. He had completely regressed to his old habits, but his verbal expressions of affections were far less frequent than they were in his panicked start. Jesse had been frowning more, and checking on Hanzo more often before, even increasing his already massive amount of I love you’s. Which in turn, caused Hanzo to internally panic, taking the increase as a gentle reminder for what his behavior should be, and thus increasing his I love you’s. Even when he was uncomfortable. Hanzo couldn’t keep up, but he was terrified of losing Jesse just because he couldn’t communicate like a normal human being. 

He’d seen Genji and Jesse talking in private more than a few times in recent weeks and he couldn’t help but be afraid of what they were saying. Were they sharing horror stories of what a failure he was. Genji had more than a few from their childhood together. Hanzo could think of multiple instances off the top of his head that would be excellent reasons for Jesse to dismiss him outright and move on to someone who could easily understand all his needs. He’d been caught watching them more than once, and he would almost say their expressions were concerned, but he was positive they were more concerned about being caught than about what he thought. 

Hanzo shot a weary smile to Jesse as he briefly turned his way. The same frown from earlier briefly flickered across Jesse’s face, before he excused himself from the conversation and made his way towards Hanzo.

“Getting to be too much, babe?” Jesse ran a hand through Hanzo’s hair and left just enough space between them that Hanzo could back away if he needed. That was a new thing Jesse had been doing. Allowing Hanzo to make the first move, or checking that Hanzo was okay with whatever they were doing before doing it.  

“A little.” Hanzo smiled tiredly, eyes drooping slightly with the weight of his thoughts and the upcoming conversation he knew he needed to have.

“Let’s get ya out of here then.” Jesse smiled back, comforting and began to walk out of the room, slipping his hand into Hanzo’s and gave it a light squeeze.

“Jesse, If you’re not ready, I can go--” Hanzo protested but his worries were quickly assuaged by Jesse when he placed a swift kiss on his lips.

“All I want to do right now is spend time with you.” Hanzo nodded, mollified, and let himself be led out.

They arrived at their room they’d been given at the Overwatch base, should they need to spend the night, and Jesse flopped on the bed, Hanzo followed sitting down with a touch more grace, body still stiff. He tried to allow the comforting warmth of their shared space to calm him. All the gifts and items that showed they both lived there, but it seemed he wouldn’t find any comfort in those tonight. He was too worried about having to extract himself from the beautiful domesticity he’d fallen into here with Jesse. His anxiety still raging, Hanzo broke the comfortable bubble surrounding them.

“McCree…” Hanzo started, a bit shakily. The day had been long and this conversation was necessary but difficult. He hoped he didn’t back down again.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse was instantly alert and sat up giving Hanzo his full attention. Hanzo furrowed his brow, confused at how Jesse had so easily picked up on his unease.

“You never call me McCree anymore darlin’, haven’t for quite a while now. So something’s got to be wrong.” Jesse shot him a comforting smile and reached out to grab his hand, holding it tightly. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. I’ll wait for however long you need.”

Hanzo closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly let it out, and then started talking. “I love you.”

“I know, sugar.”

“I don’t say it enough.” Jesse opened his mouth to retort, but Hanzo barreled not allowing the momentary courage to waver. “You said it yourself, and I am trying, but I can tell it’s not enough. I don’t think it’ll ever be enough. I love you so much, and I try to show you everyday, but you don’t see it! You never see it! I try and I try and I try, even when I’m so tired that I want to collapse I try, and I just can’t. I can’t be what you want me to be and I’m sorry.” Hanzo was distraught, the strain of the day, where he was already functioning on bare minimum energy levels, and the importance of the conversation and the vulnerability of the confession hit him like a truck. He curled in on himself, body closing off, and took deep shuddering breaths as he did his damndest to remain calm, while he anxiety tried to force him over the edge into an attack.

Jesse took a deep breath of his own and scooted closer to Hanzo, until they were practically chest to chest, checking that the change in distance was a welcome change the whole time.

“I’m sorry.” Hanzo’s head shot up at the declaration, but McCree hurried on just as Hanzo had moments ago. “After our first conversation, I knew I’d fucked up. I started paying attention to you a bit more, not that I didn’t before, but the stuff you were doing for me.” Jesse ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated by his inability to express his thoughts. “The little things you were doing for me, the gifts, and cooking breakfast, cleaning up when I get a migraine. I don’t know I just thought it was a routine for you I guess. I didn’t think it was special, so I started paying more attention and just...you don’t really do that for anyone else. Maybe Genji, but even then that was like on his birthday, and I just. I realized what you’d been doing that I’d been missing all this time.”

“I’m sor--” Hanzo tried to interrupt but Jesse quickly cut him off once again.  
“Don’t apologize, honey.” Jesse caressed Hanzo face and let a small smile grace his face. “I don’t blame you, we were both shit at saying what we needed huh? I should’ve never even thought of talking to you about this stuff when we were both running hot. It wasn’t fair.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed you would understand how I say I love you without me explaining it, at least a little bit. I should know better by now.”

“I’d say we both should by now, sweetness. Guess we were both in the wrong, huh?” Jesse huffed a laugh and pressed a kiss to Hanzo’s lips which Hanzo eagerly returned. “Forgive me?”

“Only if you’ll forgive me.” Hanzo sighed in relief, and let his body slowly relax into Jesse’s

“Course’.” Jesse slowly pulled Hanzo into a loose hug, maneuvering them so they were spooning properly. “Genji was the one who got me to pull my head out of my ass ya know.”

“Is that why you two were talking so much lately?” Hanzo cuddled closer to Jesse the pressure feeling excellent on his overworked body.

“Yeah, I’m sorry if it looked like we were leaving you out or something. He told me what I needed to look for, little steps I could take to make your more comfortable.”

“Did he tell you why, why I’m not...why I can’t…” Hanzo still struggled to finish the sentence after all these years.

“Nah, sugar I figured that out all on my own. Once I started looking, really looking, it gave me some ideas, and a few google searches later and I have a better idea than when I started. Don’t mean I got you all figured out, you’ll still have to help me out and tell me where I’m going wrong, but hopefully I won’t mess up this bad next time.” Jesse planted a soft kiss on the top of Hanzo’s head, leaning forward so he could look Hanzo in the face at least a little bit. “But you gotta promise to talk to me sweetheart, not necessarily all the time or about everything, but you gotta give me some sorta guideline here. I don’t wanna be flying blind and accidently crash and burn.”

“I will try.” Hanzo said, managing to place a soft kiss on the corner of Jesse’s lips in thanks. “You have to talk to me as well, I know it’s not the easiest thing to deal with, but I don’t want to hurt you just because I cannot see how I’m hurting you.”

“Sounds like a plan, darlin’.” Jesse leaned back getting comfortable again.

“I love you, you don’t have to say it back.”

“No, this is a right time.” Hanzo closed his eyes and leaned against Jesse letting the long lines of their body remain connected. “I love you, always, especially if I don’t always say it back.”

Jesse pressed a light kiss into Hanzo’s hair. “You’ve always been saying it back, I just finally know what to look for.”

The two of them laid there together and it was the right moment. Logically, Hanzo knew that ahead of them there was still unseen bumps and cracks in the road, waiting to try and crash them, throw them off course. But here, in this moment, there were no bumps, there was no crash. It was only the two of them on the cusp of sleep, bodies not quite clicking like puzzle pieces but undeniably closer now, undeniably a better fit than before, just breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started as a 1500 word piece I absolutely fucking hated, and now I'm at least semi proud of it. I headcanon Hanzo as autistic, Aspergers specifically, and call it movie night cause I'm projecting. I realize he may be hella ooc here as well, forgive me as I said I'm projecting and I'm only drawing from my own experience and haven't had much practice applying it in my writing. Hopefully I'll do better in the future. Also, this is unbetaed to the point that I haven't even read it over for clarity cause I am so tired tonight. I'll edit later when I get energy, so forgive obvious errors.


	4. It Takes Work (Prompt: Game Night)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D.va the Destroyer joins Overwatch.  
> Hanzo is not pleased.

“Genji I swear to all that is holy, if you buy the revive on ‘accident’ one more time I will murder you and no one will find your body.” McCree growled and hunched his shoulders, leaning into the controller like it would help.

“I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me.” Genji smirked. “Oh no McCree looks like I accidently bought the revive again.”

“You little shit!” McCree dropped the controller and launched himself at Genji, tackling him to the floor and putting him a quick headlock, which Genji didn’t even try to escape as he was too busy laughing. On screen their characters died gruesomely to wave six of the zombies that had besieged the town. Both of them hadn’t played in ages, and had never played together, but both remembered some the basics from the way back when the game came out. McCree’s strategy was simple, punch all zombies to death till round three to conserve ammo, open the bar first for the mystery box, then the second floor for juggernog, then the bank for speed cola. Once the zombies got overwhelming, hole up by the Double Tap Root Beer and let then come to you.

Genji seemed to prefer an “mlg” approach as he kept yelling as he made his character run in circles next to stairs that let up to Juggernog. Open second floor for Juggernog, rely on wall guns and ammo close to Juggernog, then lead zombies in endless circles through the fire so they would take a hit and a half.

Their first few tries were a wicked clash, Genji's strategy was only able to accommodate one person, and McCree's was based on speed, don't get hit, and pure luck of what the mystery box would provide. After a few rocky starts where the two took it far to seriously for the nature of the game and never made it past round ten, they managed to find a happy medium, but still never made it past round ten since they’d both decided ridiculous challenges seemed to be the way to go.

Hanzo had watched their attempts safely out of tackling range on the couch, playing pokemon quietly on an old DS of his. In the background more chattering from various team members could be heard as they all participated in their own games. D.va The Destroyer, or D.va as was her shortened code name, had been recruited several months ago, roughly about a year after McCree’s near death experience. Hanzo had vehemently fought the process when he’d heard about it from Genji, trying to find any number of ways to stall it or get it completely canceled all together. McCree had to force him to calm down more than once. It had been a point of contention between the two of them. 

Jesse was all for her recruitment. All intel pointed to D.va having been used as a tool by Talon, she was the one who had reached out in fact, desperate to find the other dragons who had stopped her. Not to defeat them, but to talk to them. She thought she was the last dragon alive. Talon had killed her clan when she was young and absorbed her into their organization as an asset. She was young, for a dragon, when they’d taken her and while she couldn’t claim she didn’t know better she could claim that she didn’t have any other options than to do what they told her. Overwatch heard her message, vetted it and got her out, but she was required to work for their organization in the meantime to properly assimilate her back into society and to continue to verify she wasn’t a threat. Once she was cleared, she was free to leave.

D.va wasn’t the last dragon that Overwatch was aware of either, even though Hanzo and Genji’s dragons were spiritual in nature, Overwatch did have one more dragon agent, Satya. Satya and D.va had butted heads when they first met. D.va was loud, ecstatic, and tactile, easily overwhelming Satya and giving the older dragon more than enough reason to avoid the newest member of their team. Satya was also a close friend of Hanzo and Jesse and Hanzo’s closest confidant if Jesse wasn’t available, so it was a no brainer that she wanted nothing to do with D.va at first. 

But D.va, or Hana as most of the team now called her, was a quick learner. She would sit quietly with Satya for hours, Satya was far too stubborn to get up and leave purely because a nuisance was in the same room, especially when said nuisance was not being a nuisance. Satya would read whatever had grabbed her attention, or work on a project for Overwatch, and Hana would sit opposite her playing quietly on some video game device, usually a handheld, but after the first few times Satya let Hana set up her consoles on the TV. With the volume low and D.va remaining calm it almost soothing to watch her methodically work through levels one after the other. Eventually, Satya let her walls down and began to talk to D.va and over the course of their quiet sessions and the two had formed a strong bond.

D.va was, at heart, a quiet individual. Her personality was still loud and could sometimes be overwhelming, but she lived for the feelings that came with just spending time alone, but in no danger, or with others playing video games or working on her mech. Her initial excitement that overwhelmed Satya had been mostly her not believing another dragon existed and the shock that came along with it. She still had a mischievous streak and sometimes struggled with taking a joke too far, but was overall more focused on bringing the group together in whatever ways she could. Years of isolation had taken its toll on her, but she was a natural at making friends and had converted most of the base over to her side, including Jesse who had forgiven her after she’d delivered a tearful apology to Hanzo and him both. 

Hanzo was the only one who was still wary. The game night had become a weekly thing on base. Hanzo and Jesse hadn’t been able to make it to one yet, not that Hanzo wanted to go in the first place, because they had lived off base. However, Hanzo had taken a job on base as a nurse in the med bay, since Jesse ended up hanging around the base more often than not. It was the natural choice to move in so they could see each other in more than passing. Which is how Hanzo ended up sitting on a couch playing pokemon and watching his boyfriend and brother fail at Call of Duty. Jesse had dragged Hanzo to the common room, trying to say it would be a nice olive branch, and he’d employed the puppy dog eyes. Hanzo still struggled saying no to the puppy dog eyes.

“Nice Gyarados. How long did it take?” D.va plopped herself down on the couch beside Hanzo, her own DS dangling from her hand. 

“How long did what take?” Hanzo grunted. He kept his eyes firmly on the screen, pretending the encounter with a trainer on one of the routes he’d already visited was actually difficult. 

“Evolving your magikarp, or Splash2Win apparently.” Hanzo scowled and titled the screen aware from her, slightly embarrassed she’d seen the nickname.

“You assume I did not just catch the Gyarados?”

“It’d be really weird if you named it Splash2Win then, also you’re stubborn as fuck, of course you evolved magikarp.” She shuffled closer, propping her chin on her hand. “So how long?”

“Several hours.”

“You used the Exp. Share right? I can’t imagine putting myself through that without it. The best part about Sun and Moon is you got it right away.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Hanzo saw McCree and Genji beaming at him and he sighed deeply, turning to face D.va properly. He knew they wouldn’t get off his back without a decent try at cooperation. “That is what I’m playing right now. I have done it without the exp. share, in the first gen.”

“Do you do this every game. You seem pretty well versed in it.” She was watching him beat another trainer now, working methodically through the route. 

“Yes. I started doing it when I was a child, and it just became a habit. An easy way to test the new games.” McCree and Genji had turned their attention back to the TV now, and were loading up the Hijacked map for a friendly game of versus. Friendly was a relative term in this case. 

Hanzo turned to D.va “We may want to find a new place to sit.” He gestured towards the TV and D.va’s eyes widened and she nodded vigorously.   
“Now to watch the controllers fly.” D.va giggled as Hanzo and her settled out of the splash zone. They were both seperated from the main action of the room now, off in a corner and the noise was muffled. Hanzo didn’t even notice how tense his shoulders had gotten until he’d separated himself from the action.

“I know you don’t like me.” D.va wasn’t looking at him now, still staring at McCree and Genji who were for the time being laughing. “And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do anything to fix that. I can’t just say I fucked up, because I didn’t just fuck up. Fucking up is spilling milk on the kitchen floor, or forgetting your friend’s birthday. Trying to kill someone isn’t a fuck up, it’s a choice. I recognize that. I know what I did. I live with all my choices and their consequences, even if you don’t think I do. That is all I can offer you.”

Hanzo set his DS aside, closing the screen. “If you had killed him, would you have remembered him. If I hadn’t come and defeated you.”

“Short answer, no. Long answer, I probably would’ve made some jokes about his outfit and then forgotten him within the week.” D.va looked and spoke calmly, but was clearly not at ease. Her shoulders and back were a straight line, stiff and unmoving. Her breaths were carefully measured. It was an odd sight when she was normally laid back.  
“Do you have someone you want to protect.” Hanzo asked. It was almost imperceptible, but Hana’s eyes flickered over to Satya who was sitting on the other side of the room. Hanzo smiled. She would understand now, the incredible need, the want to protect them even if it meant giving your own. They were the one thing that could build you up and the one thing that could completely destroy you. If she didn’t know now, she would soon. 

“It is a ridiculous outfit.” Hanzo acquiesced, changing the subject before Hana could get a chance to reply. He leaned into Hana’s space a touch. He didn’t know how he didn’t see it before. He had told Hana long ago, that he would forgive but not forget. She seemed comforted by that information, like she was happy someone would take her out if she needed to be taken out. Hanzo knew how it weighed on you. The weight of what you did or didn’t do, what you almost did. How heavy the weight of trust felt when it was placed on shoulders so broken you were never sure how you’d be able to hold it up. 

. “It’s so tacky!” Hana looked almost as if she had melted, the tension bleeding out of her. She shot him a grateful look, if slightly wary. She didn’t know what he’d seen, but she was smart. She knew a chance when she saw one. 

Across the room, Genji let out a screech and the controller went flying directly towards where Hanzo and Hana had been sitting.

“There are no friends on Hijacked.” Hana said nodding sagely. Hanzo chuckled as he heard McCree yelling for him to help him kick his little brother’s ass. Hanzo just ignored him and flipped the DS open again, making his way to a pokemon center. 

“I have a shiny buneary, would you like it?” Hanzo gestured towards her DS.

“Oh my god, yes!” Hana jumped up in excitement. “Hang on, I left my copy of Ultra Sun in my room!” She dashed off and Hanzo shook his head.

He caught Jesse’s eye from across the room. The other man was beaming, completely ignoring how Genji was desecrating his corpse on screen. Hanzo rolled his eyes, and checked to make sure no one was looking, and blew Jesse a kiss. Jesse’s eyes widened and dramatically threw a hand over his heart, pretending to be faint and fall over. He then actually fell over when Genji tackled him, attempting to beat him to death with his controller.

“How did you kill me, You weren’t even fucking looking!” McCree just laughed loud and boisterous and alive. Hanzo smiled, and his gaze flickered over to Satya who also laughing, but was clearly scanning the room someone. Frowning, when she didn’t see them. Yes, she would know soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Call of Duty: Black Ops II is a good game and still is. I would play co op zombies on town for hours with my dad and Hijacked was the worst, especially with the little RC blow up car and an equally competitive brother. The Hijacked map brings out very specific feelings man, murderous feelings specifically. Pokemon Sun on the other hand makes me feel like I wanna punch the sun from cuteness and happiness. I would die for Lillie. 
> 
> I know it's a Mchanzo week, but I couldn't resist taking a step back and addressing something else. There are Mchanzo moments though so it still counts.


	5. I Can't Imagine Life Without You (Prompt: Role Reversal)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Jesse and Hanzo could stay in one moment in time forever, it would be this one.
> 
> (Sexual Content)

“I don’t think I could live alone again, you know that?” Jesse looked over at Hanzo who was working the desk. Jesse had been working on a small knitting project on their bed, an old episode of Chopped on mute was playing on their across the room, the subtitles were on but neither of them were paying it much attention. Hanzo was finishing up some paperwork for the med bay, and was almost done when Jesse had made his declaration. Hanze saved the work he hadn’t finished. He still had a week to submit it anyway, but he preferred to do reports when his memory was fresh. 

“And why is that, Jesse.” 

They’d been living in the small apartment the base had provided for a while now and had easily settled into a routine. Jesse would leave for patrols when Hanzo would leave for the med bay. Hanzo would come back first for lunch, pulling out whatever meet they needed for dinner out of the freezer and leaving it on the counter to thaw. Jesse would get back a few hours later and usually read a book, or did any reports that were due. Hanzo would get home a few hours later, and once he’d gotten settled, the two of them would cook dinner together. Cooking and eating dinner together was something they made an effort to do every day, so beyond basic prep work, the two left all the work for when the other got home. Hanzo and Jesse would trade off picking the dish and picking the music they cooked too. When one picked the dish, the other picked the music. That way both of them would have a say. 

Cleaning was done as they went since the space was small it was easy to clutter, laundry day was Wednesday for sheets, clothes were done on the weekends, Sunday was movie night, Friday was date night if either of them had it off or had the time.  Genji made fun of them, saying they were just like an old married couple, but it was comfortable In their lines of work, comfort was a perishable commodity that was more precious than gold. 

“You are thinking way too hard for someone who is supposed to be off, darlin’.” McCree had gotten off the bed and was standing behind Hanzo now, lazily working out the knots in Hanzo’s shoulders.

“Then perhaps you will have to give me a reason to stop thinking, cowboy.” Hanzo shot a wry smile over his shoulder at Jesse, winking to seal the deal.

Jesse groaned and buried his face in Hanzo’s shoulder, “Honey you can’t just do that to me. You gotta warn a man.”

Hanzo chuckled and pulled away from McCree, leaving a light kiss on his cheek as he went. “Strip for me?” He sat on the bed, looking for all the world like a king observing his riches.   
Jesse nodded and began to tear his clothes off as fast as he could. Hanzo disrobed as well, but his was slower less hurried. He was more focused on watching Jesse than getting naked himself. Jesse almost forgot he was supposed to be focusing on getting undressed when Hanzo finally took his shirt off. It would be an honorable death if Jesse died suffocated by Hanzo’s pecs. 

Hanzo smirked, “Do you need help? Or are you just going to stare all day.” Jesse shook his head and quickly finished getting undressed and approached Hanzo. All he wanted to do was touch and kiss and stroke and wring all the sounds he loved out of Hanzo. He stopped short of touching though when Hanzo held up a hand silently telling him to wait.

Hanzo’s confident demeanor from earlier had softened, it was small but he was hunched in on himself slightly. “I would like to top tonight, if your amicable to that.” Hanzo’s smile was soft and unsure, like he thought Jesse would refuse. 

Jesse smiled just as softly before leaned in, kissing Hanzo deeply until all his worry lines disappeared. He pulled back slightly out of breath. “Is it my birthday? I didn’t forget an anniversary right?” Hanzo almost never topped. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, it was just more often than not he enjoyed being doted on by Jesse, and Jesse loved doting on him. When Hanzo did top, Jesse knew he was in for the ultimate treat. Hanzo was was the definition of a service top and Jesse had never felt more cared for in his life than when Hanzo decided he wanted to top. Jesse also didn’t mind bottoming. Jesse was a person who would top until asked otherwise. He didn’t often get the desire to bottom, just like Hanzo didn’t often get the desire to top. Jesse just liked taking care of Hanzo, and was willing to be whatever Hanzo needed, just like Hanzo was willing to explore Jesse’s kinks even when he wasn’t sure about them. Simple as that.

“You didn’t forget anything, I just want to.” Hanzo beamed, his body completely relaxed now, and it felt like a thousand suns were warming Jesse from the inside at the sight. “Now, get on the bed.”

“Yes, sir.” Jesse smirked and flopped on the bed, letting his limbs hang loosely. Hanzo laughed a little at Jesse’s silliness and switched to a more comfortable position on the bed.

Hanzo started slow. He kissed Jesse slowly and sweetly, drawing little sighs out of him. He ran his hands through Jesse’s hair, felt the softness of it, and the two of them just laid there. Kissing and holding each other, with no rush to reach the end. 

Jesse’s cock still pressed into Hanzo’s stomach, and Jesse broke out of the kiss in a breathy moan as Hanzo ground his still clothed hips into Jesse. Hanzo moved his hips in slow circles, pulling Jesse back for more kisses. These were more fervent but still had the slow building intensity of the previous. Hanzo ran hands over Jesse’s chest, just smoothing over the skin at first, memorizing all the curves and bumps of Jesse’s torso. Jesse’s body was magnificent. The strength in his arms, his barrel chest, the slight pudge around his middle that Hanzo loved to squish and love on. His thighs, Hanzo would gladly suffocate between Jesse’s thighs. It would be an honorable death. 

He ran his hands back up Jesse’s chest, running his thumbs over Jesse’s nipples feeling them peak beneath his fingers. He could feel Jesse’s dick twitch against his stomach at the attention. He pulled back from the kiss with a deep satisfied sigh. Jesse’s face the was picture of bliss, and as Hanzo pulled himself away he could still his dick was leaking a steady stream of pre cum. He smiled softly at Jesse and meanly tweaked Jesse’s nipple. He watched Jesse’s eyes widen and felt the moan that ripped out of Jesse’s chest vibrate through his. He sucked the nipple into his mouth, before the moan completely trailed off, bringing it back to the full intensity as he listened to Jesse pant above him and squirm below him. He let his other hand wander over to Jesse’s other nipple, matching the movements of his fingers with the movement of his tongue. He felt Jesse buck up against him as he lightly scraped his teeth over the nipple at the same time he pinched the other. 

“Darlin’ please.” Jesse’s voice was soft, like he was afraid that if he spoke to loud it would break the moment. “I need you.”

“Alright, my love.” Jesse’s face snapped up to Hanzo’s unused to the term of endearment coming from his partner, and Hanzo raised his eyebrows as if daring him to question it. He slowly peeled the rest of his clothes off, his cock springing out of his boxers as he pulled them down. He stroked his cock a few times, moaning loudly. He saw Jesse grab the base of his cock and he heard him whimper at the sight of Hanzo. 

Hanzo crawled back up Jesse’s body pulling him into a searing kiss as he ground their bare cocks together. He snuck his hand down between them slotting their dicks together and starting a steady rhythm. Jesse moaned and threw his arm over his face, hiding his eyes.  Hanzo reached up with his free hand and moved the arm away.

“No, I want to see you.” He felt himself shake and moan as another wave of pleasure rushed through him. “I want you to see me.” Jesse whimpered and bucked into Hanzo’s grip causing twin groans to spill from their mouth. 

Hanzo sped up his strokes, the pre cum drooling from their cocks providing more than enough lube. He blindly reached for Jesse’s hand linking their fingers together and holding it in a tight grip, as a he shut his eyes as a loud groan ripped out of him.

“I’m gonna cum.” McCree grunted and shuddered beneath Hanzo, simultaneously trying get away and get more pleasure. “I want you inside me, please.”

“You have more than one round in you, love.” Hanzo panted and bucked and quickened his strokes again, feeling both their cocks twitch in his grip. “Come for me. I want to see you.” 

Jesse groaned long and drawn out as he shuddered through his orgasm. His eyes scrunched up and his mouth was open in a wide o. Hanzo couldn’t think of a more beautiful sight. He pulled away as he felt Jesse shudder and twitch in overstimulation. No longer focused on Jesse’s pleasure as well, Hanzo stroked his cock quickly throwing himself over the brink of orgasm, just as Jesse opened his eyes to see him paint his chest white with cum. 

Jesse squeezed their joined hands and smiled softly at him, and Hanzo felt his breath taken away and not just from the orgasm. Jesse looked positively angelic in the fading evening light. The setting sun illuminated the sun streaks in his hair bringing in out the blonde and caramel highlights in it. It played across his bronze skin, making it look like it had an unearthly glow. Hanzo was in awe.

“I love you.” Hanzo said. He meant it, with every part of his being, and he knew that he would mean it forever.

“I love you too.” Jesse brushed a kiss against Hanzo’s hand, hiding his smile behind it. “Clean me up and give me a few minutes and I’ll let you wreck my ass.”

Hanzo broke off into a bright laugh falling next to Jesse and burying his smile in Jesse’s shoulder. 

Jesse looked at Hanzo and the setting sun was working magic on his already beautiful partner. The sun hit just right against his eyes, making the deep brown seem flecked with gold. His hair sparkled and flowed like deep ocean waters and looked just as smooth as a flat sea. The sun made the colors of his tattoo look vibrant and new, and Jesse could’ve sworn he saw it move and shimmer a brighter blue for just a moment. Hanzo was his and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was. How perfect this was.

Hanzo placed a light kiss on his cheek, untangling their fingers. “I’ll be right back. Then I will ‘wreck your ass’ as you so eloquently put it.”

Jesse huffed a laugh and quickly pulled Hanzo down, into a deeper kiss. “I’ll be waiting.”

Outside the sun continued to set, the world continued to turn, and villains and criminals continued to work and create infinite dangers that could take either of them away at any moment. But inside their room, just for this moment, Jesse and Hanzo were together, there was no Talon, there were no apocalypses, or patrols, or guns, or diseases that could hurt them. There was nothing at all but the soft light from the setting sun, the steady hum of the overhead fan, and the quiet of their breathing. Inside their room, in that moment, was the comfort that always came with being completely devoted to someone else. The comfort that always came with knowing another person in the most intimate of ways and in the hardest of times. This is why neither of them could ever live alone, without the other again. Here they were whole, here they were together, here they were unstoppable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not really role reversal ok, but I wanted to write smut. I did not start out this week with the goal to write smut, in fact I definitely did not want to write it. I wanted to write some nice fluffy shit, so honestly it was eventual that I would write some soft fluffy sex. What are you gonna do.


	6. I'm Not Worse For Having Met You (Prompt: Meet the Family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji meets McCree for the first time. It does not go well. Everyone learns a little more about Hanzo, and Hanzo learns a little more about Jesse.

“I don’t like him.” Genji had pulled Hanzo aside at McCree’s welcome party, and Hanzo’s welcome backish party. He’d managed to somehow find the only dark and secluded corner in the overly lit room. Genji was frowning, the smile he’d been wearing all evening dropping the instant they were out of the immediate sight of his teammates. He stood tall with his arms crossed over his chest, looking for all the world like an intimidating older brother, even if he was the younger of the two. Hanzo wanted laugh at the sight, unused to seeing Genji serious in any capacity, but he held it back. Laughing would only make whatever Genji was going to say worse. Neither of them liked to admit it, but they both had a petty streak a mile wide. He was having a fun night, he’d rather not deal with either of their tempers flaring.

<<And who exactly do you not like Genji?>> Hanzo said switching to Japanese, just in case someone wandered close enough to hear. He sighed and crossed his arms as well, his face an impassive mask. He tried to make himself taller than Genji, but it was no use. The damn kid had shot up light a bean sprout after they’d left the clan  and had long ago managed to surpass Hanzo in height by a few inches. 

<<McCree. He is not good for you.>> He could see the clear lines of frustration in Genji’s face as he spoke.

<<I think I am old enough to decide what is good for me and what is not.>> Hanzo remained calm, but a small smile found itself onto his face. Ever since leaving Overwatch, Genji had a tendency to lean towards overprotectiveness, like he’d forgotten Hanzo had powers and could handle himself even though he was no longer a part of Overwatch. It would be frustrating if Hanzo chose to see it in that light, but ever since leaving Overwatch, his relationship with Genji had improved leaps and bounds. The two of them were once more stoic allies than siblings, but that had changed when Hanzo left Overwatch. Maybe it was distance, maybe the lack of pressing duty, or maybe it was just simply time, whatever it was Hanzo and Genji had grown closer. Hanzo wouldn’t trade that closeness for anything, he had craved it in his youth, and during his time at Overwatch, but was never able to quite get there. If he could have Genji in his life as a brother, a real brother, then he would deal with all the annoying parts of having a sibling. Including the occasional overreach.

<<He dragged you back into this, when you fought so hard to leave!>> Genji threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, like it was all so obvious and he couldn’t understand how Hanzo couldn’t see it. <<Forgive me for being concerned about what you want!>> His words dripped sarcasm.

<<I appreciate your concern, but this is what I want, he is what I want. It is my choice, besides I am still far from active duty in any capacity.>> Hanzo’s fought back the slight frustration he felt building and kept his tone soft and calm. All he could do was present his side and hope Genji listened. Hanzo laid a hand on Genji’s shoulder, hoping to quiet his worries. <<I really appreciate you trying to protect me. I do. However, you have to realize that I could have gotten out long before now if I wanted to. I knew he was Mystery Man before we were dating and I still stayed and I still chose to pursue him. I chose that. If there are consequences to my actions, they are all my own. There is nothing you can do.>>

Genji practically growled in anger, <<There are already consequences! You are back here! It’s like you don’t know how to be anything else other than a dog. They take the bowl away and you still stay! Your time at Overwatch was no different than your time at the clan, except they’d pet you once or twice. You’re always rolling over for others, never holding strong. No wonder the elders loved you, you were the perfect puppet!”

Hanzo felt electricity race through his arm and he raised his voice in a tone of warning. He could feel eyes on them now. <<Genji, I suggest you stop this right now. You are acting like a child.>>

<<I’m acting like a child!>> Genji was yelling now. If they didn’t have the eyes of everyone in the room before, they did now. <<You’re acting like a child! I am still watching you make the same stupid decisions over and over and coming in to save you and pick up the pieces. You can’t handle yourself. You can’t handle any of this.>> He made a wide gesture to the room at large and switched to english, it was petty. Genji wanted to put on a show it seemed. “I am just trying to protect you!”

“What do you think I have been doing for years!” Hanzo yelled back, his arm a blue and white lightshow as the dragons fed off his emotions. “All I have ever done is protect you! I made sure you didn’t go to certain meetings with the clan, not that you cared to go anyway most of the time. I took every punishment meant for you from father on top of my own. While you got to leave, have friends, and be a child! I cleaned up all your messes, I took every fall. I did every assassination, every mission, every deal for you!” Hanzo was pacing, pushed too far over the edge to stop to care about the spectacle he was making. “You cared little for me and yet you were still my brother, they dangled you on a string in front of me. Tried to use you to break me, manipulate me, twist me, and then they asked me to cut that string, and I got you out. I sacrificed everything for you!”

“But what about Over--” Genji tried to interrupt but Hanzo plowed on.

“I let you have the spotlight, anything you wanted, everything you wanted, all the peace negotiations, all the high and mighty hero glory, while I built the foundation for you by crawling in the dirt. I killed so many people you will never know about, tortured people you will never know about, because I was protecting you! I still am. I didn’t fight to get out, I was forced out, but I staged that again for you.” 

Hanzo made eye contact with the key members who knew all this in the room, Soldier 76, who some days Hanzo still wished dead. Ana Amari, the mother figure he needed that should’ve also been dead, that he’d mourned. Gabriel wasn’t here, he was dead too, but Hanzo had heard whispers in Talon circles of a man just like him. Ruthless in his intensity and remorseless. Hanzo had watched it all fall apart. Hanzo had taken the fall again, been the rogue agent who’d orchestrated it all and not the pawn just following orders. Hanzo in his own way, was supposed to be dead. Cyber Ninja had been the hero facade he’d fallen back behind, no one linked the other half of the brother duo to the atrocities. Instead they’d faked an execution with an inmate no one would remember. Blackwatch had been purged and Hanzo along with it, and Overwatch had rebuilt itself in a new light, with a new team, without him.

Hanzo fixed his steely glare on Genji, radiating power and authority. “This is the first selfish choice I have ever made, you have no right to question it.” With that he turned and grabbed McCree and walked out the door, leaving the room in a stunned silence. Let them wallow in it, god knows he done that long enough. 

Hanzo was running, not sure where he was going all he knew was away. He wasn’t even seeing the scenery around him, it was all a blur as he let his eyes unfocus. The only anchor point he had was Jesse’s hand in his, holding steady beside him. Everything felt far away and too close. His chest heaved and clenched, he couldn’t get enough air, but he ran on anyway. He felt tears well in his eyes and he blinked them away as quickly as he could, but they just kept coming. Everything just kept coming. He could hear Gabriel telling him the deal, Genji would be a hero, Hanzo would work enough for the both of them, enough to pay off the debt of taking them in instead arresting or killing him. Genji was clear, of course, he had no criminal associations, his ardent hatred of the clan paying off in dividends.

He remembered all the faces of all his clan and how amazing he felt exacting revenge. How free he felt even when he was still being jerked around like a lifeless doll. He remembered the dirt and the sweat and the blood that followed him everywhere in those day. How he avoided Genji unless he was Cyber Ninja, unless it was for promotional appearances. He wasn’t even on base more often than not, Blackwatch was small and spread thin, he heard so much about the glory days from Gabriel, back when Gabriel was still Gabriel. Back when Gabriel still believed what they were doing was right, still believed in saying people, back when he didn’t want to burn down every bridge even if it meant Hanzo was still on it. Without a war or an apocalypse, Blackwatch was forced to fade into the shadows even more than before. For a while there, Gabriel had really convinced him. They were the only thing preserving the peace, keeping the world from tipping into destructive collapse. 

In a way, they were. Hanzo could think of so many politicians he’d stopped, scientists he’d killed, buildings he’d destroyed and how every single one of them could’ve ended the world. He thought the sun would burn out before Blackwatch did, a silly fantasy but after so many years of being a puppet, Gabriel treated him like a person, like he had worth and opinions that mattered. He was more than just a weapon. In the end, Gabriel faded away into smoke and Blackwatch was burned itself to the ground, and Hanzo was left somewhere in between, no longer welcome but still necessary. Filled with darkness while projecting light. 

He didn’t talk to Genji or anyone from Overwatch for years. He was still filled with bitterness, seething at the injustice of it all. They needed them, they used them, and when the world found out that the heroes were just as bad as the villains they were cast out. Pretending like they weren’t just as bad, like they hadn’t seen and done the same shit as Hanzo and been lauded for it because of a stupid war. Like every other country in the world didn’t do the same thing during peace. 

One day Hanzo just stopped. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he just stopped running. He was tired. He didn’t know if he was done being bitter, or angry, but he was done running. He enrolled in college for the second time, his first degree had been a business degree obtained for the clan, and got his nursing degree. He started working as a trauma nurse in the ER, moved into an apartment, took a roommate, met Jesse, and now he was here, running away again. 

He only stopped when McCree physically tugged him backwards, stopping him from falling face first into the ground after he tripped. 

“Honey, stop...please.” Hanzo looked back, forcing his eyes to focus again. He heard his own breathing, heavy and unsteady. He saw Jesse panting slightly, eyes wide. Hanzo dropped his hand, backing up.

“I’m sorry.” Hanzo looked down at his hands, could still see the blood, could still feel it’s texture running over his hands. He knew it wasn’t there but he felt it, always.

“Oh, sugar.” McCree grabbed Hanzo’s hand again and he watched the blood spread. Hanzo tried to drop his hand again, desperate to keep Jesse clean. Jesse held tight. Hanzo looked up desperate, pleading with his eyes for Jesse to let go. Jesse just looked at him with sad eyes, eyes that Hanzo had seen every morning in the mirror for years. He shook his head, and Jesse nodded in return. 

“Let’s sit down. Give ourselves a rest for a minute.” Hanzo let himself be lead over to a grassy area a little ways away from the trail. He realized now that he’d run them into the forest behind the base. This is where he often found solace in Blackwatch, muscle memory had taken over. 

They sat in silence for a long time. Hanzo tense and shaking for most of it. Hanzo listened to the birds, the wind through the trees, the sound of the ocean far away but constant, Jesse’s steady breaths. He let his breathing slow, he let his thoughts calm, he imagined the panic flowing out of him and into the ground, eventually he calmed. The tension bled out of his shoulders, leaving him tired. His breaths were synced with Jesse’s, their chests rising and falling in unison. Jesse squeezed his hand, a small reminder of his anchor, and then he began speaking.

“I must’ve been five the first time I shot a gun.” Jesse began slow his voice no more than a whisper, his drawl thick, almost sleepy. “My dad was the one who showed me. Him and his friends were always hanging around our house, shooting and talking. I didn’t think about it when I was a kid, I was just happy to be included ‘cause he was always busy. I mean, he was always home and he did his best to make time for me, but he was busy. Staying up at all hours of the night talking, the dinner table was always full of maps and papers. It was just me and my dad ya know? My mom either left or died, he never did tell me, and I never really bothered to find out.” He took a deep breath and continued. “Since I could walk I was living and breathing weapons. My dad had me memorize how certain guns looked, how others sounded, how to handle every type under the sun. I was dead shot pretty much right away, was shooting M16’s by the time I was nine, and started drug running at ten, then it was up from there.” 

Jesse paused again, seemingly settling into the memories. “My dad was the leader of Deadlock, a big gang in the southwest where I grew up.”

“I have heard of them, they did some business for a few years with the Shimada.” Hanzo interrupted briefly, letting Jesse know he didn’t have to explain the basics. 

Jesse hummed, “Small world.” He continued on. “I was trained from day one to take over, I knew the ins and outs of every route, was in shootouts, got my dad out of charges more than once with fancy water works. Public school wasn’t so much learning math and shit, dad was teaching me all that and more at home, but more how to manipulate people. I was a very popular kid.”

“As I got older, shit started getting more serious. I got caught and served my first jail time at sixteen. I’m lucky it wasn’t earlier honestly, but it was all because some idiot in the group I was running some drugs with panicked. I didn’t get out fast enough and took the fall.” He sighed deeply. “I called dad asking him to post bail and he said I needed to learn from my failures. That I’d never lead Deadlock if I got caught that easy. I got lucky, got off with community service since I didn’t have any drugs on me. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong crowd. You know the spiel.” Jesse looked at Hanzo and Hanzo nodded in confirmation. “To make a long familiar story short, I was primed to take over for my dad within the year, I was 22 and the perfect fit, been groomed my whole life. Everyone knew I was next. Some asshole, they never did find out who it was, made sure to keep everything anonymous, decided that he didn’t want me to be running the whole southwest, called the cops and blew our whole operation wide open. At least that’s the story that got told.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I was fucking sick of all of it. I was smart enough to know what I was doing was wrong, but dumb enough to keep doing it. I was the one who made the call, I panicked, couldn’t handle it. To this day I still don’t know why. I don’t know how I made it out either. They didn’t exactly stop to ask who called the cops ya know, just started shooting.The raid was huge! Call it God, fate, damn good luck, whatever you want. I made it out.” He paused for a long moment. “And no one else did.” 

Jesse shook his head and continued on. “First thing I did after the raid was contact my hacker, got myself wiped from every goddamn database known to humankind. I knew I wasn’t in any paper trail, the one thing I had time to do before the raid was burn all that shit. I knew it would make the investigators jobs harder, but I’m pretty sure the warehouse full of weapons were enough evidence...Dad got killed in the raid.” He rubbed his face like he was tired, like an immense weight was pressing down on him. “We stopped being close about the time I started really working for the gang, maybe twelve? Thirteen? Something about not showing weakness, toughing me up.” He let out a dull laugh. “I hate to say it but when I found out he died, I fucking celebrated. Whiskey, tequila, anything I could get my hands on. I drank myself into a stupor and woke up the next morning in the middle of the desert, half dead of thirst. Walked to the nearest town, got some supplies and bought a shitty car, and just kept going.” He sighed again, weary. 

“Joined the army, was spec ops, lost my arm.” He waved the prosthetic around a little in emphasis. “Received an honorable discharge, got the prosthetic, still wasn’t happy with myself or my life started doing vigilante stuff as a side job, and the rest you say is history.” Jesse smiled at Hanzo sadly, like he knew everything Hanzo had been through and more.

“I want to apologize, but I know it will sound cheap.” Hanzo smiled sadly back, upset for his lover, but stupidly cathartic, because someone else understood, someone else knew what it was like to wade through shit all your life only to see all your second chances backfire or put you in the exact same place. 

“Ain’t nothing to apologize for, just wanted you to know. You don’t have any more blood on your hands than mine. I’m not any worse for having met you. In fact I think I’m better.”

Hanzo laughed, but it was wet with unshed tears. “I think I am as well. I don’t think I’d be half the man I am today without you. You have taught me so much.”

McCree smiled, still sad, but with a tint of hope. “Ditto, sugar.” He turned solemn for a moment. “Does your brother really hate me?”

“No.” Hanzo answered definitely and without doubt. “He just worries for me, it was harsh but hopefully some of this will put it into perspective for him. I know how to handle myself, but it’s always nice to be reminded people care about you, even if it does end like that.”

“I care about you.” Jesse pressed a light kiss to Hanzo’s cheek. “I won’t say it’ll be okay, but I’m going to do my damndest to earn his trust. I’m going to do my best to earn and keep yours.”

Hanzo rolled over slightly to face McCree properly and smiled, pulling his partner into a deep kiss. “I care about you as well. You have my trust already, as I hope I have yours, and Genji will come around with time. Be patient and continue to be the amazing man I know you are, they will all see it with time. Genji can be stubborn, but he has a good heart.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.” Jesse smirked and pulled the two of them up into a standing position. “Are you ready to go back?”

“Not yet. I just want to be with you awhile longer.” He squeezed Jesse’s hand, never wanting to let go. “Unless you want to return now.”

“Darlin’ I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be right now.” The two of them sat and listened to breeze through the trees, the birds singing above, and the ocean in the distance, content to push the eventual questions and confrontations off for as long as they could make this moment last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet the original idea for the role reversal prompt. Again, s/o to CJaneway for giving me the Jesse redemption arc idea all the way back in chapter 1. Sorry it's not as developed as it could be, but I am tired and ran out of the pre done prompts awhile ago. I liked the idea of Hanzo being basically Jesse if he was in Blackwatch, again not super developed but I liked it. Tried not to get too philosophical about the uses of torture and assassination in modern society, cause I'm weird and have opinions. Hope y'all enjoy. Again, unbetaed. <<>> is japanese text obvs.


	7. Never Too Late (Prompt: Engagement/Marriage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse and Hanzo get a tax break

It was another quiet morning between them, as they usually were. Hanzo was now semi-awake after having a cup of coffee for an hour or so. McCree had been up and about for around two hours or so already, tending to the animals, both livestock and pet. Daisy, their old golden retriever, was curled up beneath Hanzo, lazily accepting the scratches from his bare feet. 

Jesse had risen through the ranks of Overwatch quickly, proving his worth and moving up from his vigilante position to full agent and tactician for the team. The team had quickly learned that his lack of powers didn’t make him any weaker than them, and when placed with a compatible team he could be just as deadly. It helped that Genji was often placed on teams with him, the two were an excellent team and moved fluidly with deadly force. When McCree wasn’t on the field, he was in the control room, running comms and directing mission strategy. His experience in special operations was integral to the team developing new tactics and counters. 

Hanzo had done his best to stay out of the spotlight, happy to work in the med bay and with a few outside hospitals. He would still step in when necessary, but given his past, he was happy to leave the heroics to others. He was practically a doctor in everything but name in those last few years. Unfortunately, age has a way of catching up in those lines of work. Jesse had sustained a knee injury early on in his vigilante career and it only flared up more and more further into his career. On one of the final missions Jesse physically went on, he was pushed off a rooftop and when he landed, he landed on his knee suffering an open fracture. Hanzo had never been more thankful for his brother than that day. Genji’s constant watching of McCree’s back had paid off and he’d been able to take out the assailants before Jesse would have had a shatter skull on top of a shattered knee cap. They’d replaced the knee, the damage was too substantial to do anything else. Technology for knee replacements had greatly advanced in the last few years and Jesse’s replacement functioned like his old knee but better, but one look at Hanzo passed out in the hospital chair next to his bed for the millionth time had him stopping and really thinking about retirement for the first time. 

They’d discussed it before, but it’d always been an abstract. Jesse had always been fighting and he thought he would die fighting. Hanzo...Hanzo knew that, and for a long time he’d convinced himself that hanzo had accepted it. But when Hanzo shakily broached the subject of retirement in that hospital room, Jesse, stupidly, even though they’d been together for years now realized he wasn’t the only one in the relationship. Even though he’d found a family, found a partner he loved and adored, he still found himself thinking he was back in Deadlock, a leader but still expendable. Watching Hanzo tell him he couldn’t watch him almost die anymore, how he was tired of not seeing him, how he missed just being with him, how it was getting hard to do this. 

They talked about it a bit more, when McCree was out of the hospital and emotions weren’t running as high. It wasn’t a quick process. Jesse still had a responsibilities as a mission commander and it wasn’t easy to phase him out of that position. It took several months and Jesse had to agree to being a consultant for Overwatch at the end, but he was free, in a sense of the word. Hanzo’s process was long as well, although not as trying as Jesse’s. He had to hand-pick and train a team of nurses to replace him. He didn’t realize how much he was doing in the med bay until he was asked to write it all down. Both Jesse and him would come home tired and frustrated after long days of training and explaining, but they were still able to smile. It would be soon, they could finally relax. Genji was ecstatic, of course, that his brother was finally getting the life he deserved, a quiet one. Many of the other Overwatch agents agreed as well. The going away party had been huge.

The one positive to the process taking as long as it did, was Jesse and Hanzo had ample time to choose where they wanted to spend the rest of their lives. They had both decided against traveling, both had seen far too much of the world in recent years and were more than happy to stay in one place for a while. They’d eventually decided on a farm in northern Idaho. It would require some fixing and they’d have to buy new equipment, but both Jesse and Hanzo had sizeable nest eggs built up from both their criminal pasts and their time at Overwatch. 

Their other three dogs were already outside with the herd. They had two rough collies, named Peaches and Cream, the two were nearly inseparable and that and their coloration had helped inspire their names. Their other dog was a mutt through and through. They figured he had to be some sort of cattle dog breed since he did fine with the livestock, but every other part of him just seemed like an odd amalgamation. Hanzo had named him Chimera.

The dogs watched over the herd and protected them from coyotes and other predators. It was a small herd, just a few cows for dairy production. They'd sell the calves in the spring after they'd been weaned and the milk at local farmers markets in the area, so far they were a young farm and they'd only kept a few of the calves around for the herd, mostly ones Hanzo had taken a particular shining to. 

They had goats as well. While the goats were mostly for pasture control, they would breed them as well and sell the milk alongside the cows milk. If McCree thought the baby goats we're adorable then that was neither here nor there. Similar to the calves, they would sell the baby goats after they've been weaned and make a small profit that way. The first purchase they’d made for the property, after all the equipment and seed and such were two horses.

Hanzo’s horse was a Leopard Appaloosa mare named Mud, Hanzo hadn’t put too much thought into the name for once and the brown spots on his white coat made her appear covered in mud. Once Mud was settled in, she had a startling ability to become actually coated in mud, so the name turned out to be quite apt. Jesse’s had become utterly taken with an American quarter horse gelding who he named Nobody. Nobody was the calmer of the two, content to graze on grass and wander through the pasture behind Mud who always seemed to be rushing somewhere.

They also had a flock of about 10 chickens which Hanzo adored and doted on, even if they were still awnry with him sometimes. The first time they'd gotten chicks he'd spend hours at a time in the barn carefully petting them and adjusting them to being held. Now he would be swarmed whenever he entered the coop. He'd greet them one by one, because of course they all had very proper names like Miss Amelia and Bella Swan, and went about collecting eggs while they pecked around him for scratch or go back to wandering around outside. He loved it.

His favorite chicken had to be Cattle, or CALTL, which stood for cooked a little too long. Cattle was a Poland and had accidently been left outside a little too long and gotten heat stroke, the massive pom pom of feathers on her head was not helpful in that regard. Their other Poland’s managed to stay out of the sun just fine, so it’s possible that she was just a little special since birth, but there was no denying he was very special now. Cattle thought she was a horse. They’d let the chickens out into the pasture to scratch around with the horses and Cattle had instantly taken a shine to Nobody. She pecked alongside him, climbed on his back when Nobody laid down, and just generally gotten along swell. They thought it was just an odd friendship, until Cattle tried to follow Mud and Nobody into the barn. They shooed her out and led the horses in again, but she followed again, taking a place in the unused stall next to Nobody’s. They’d learned to just roll with it from then on, designating the stall for her use rigging a heat lamp and placing straw in there for her.

Their life wasn’t perfect, but it was as close as the two of them thought they would ever get. Hanzo got up and placed his mug in the sink after rinsing it out. Dishes could wait a few hours. He hugged Jesse from behind, just standing in the rays of the morning sun together, soaking up the quiet. Daisy, her full name was Daisy Dukes but Hanzo refused to call her that, puttered around behind them and Hanzo felt her brush behind his legs.

Hanzo pressed a kiss to Jesse’s cheek, light and sweet. “I’m going to take Daisy out.” Jesse hummed in response pressing into the kiss, but saying nothing in return. Hanzo frowned a little and pulled back. Jesse was deep in thought. He let Jesse go with a last press into the hug and put Daisy out. He watched her for a few minutes on the porch and just listened to the sounds of their life, their farm. He heard the door open and close behind him and he sent a beaming smile in Jesse’s direction. He sat down on the porch swing gesturing to the spot beside him. “Decided to join me?”

Jesse smiled softly at him and huffed a laugh. “I’ll always join you.” He plopped down next to Hanzo and the swing creaked slightly, but it was more than sturdy enough to hold them both. They’d tested it with Reinhardt.

The two sat in silence for a few moments and Daisy trotted up to them, gait slow but tail wagging up a storm. Jesse leaned his head into Hanzo’s shoulder, “Do you ever think about getting married?”  
Hanzo stopped petting Daisy and looked up at Jesse with raised eyebrows. “I suppose I do, but never in an immediate fashion like it’s something my life won’t be complete without. I love you and to me that is as good as any oath or sheet of paper.” He paused. “What brought this on.”

“I’ve been mulling it over recently. I mean we’re pretty much married in everything but name. Didn’t know if it was something you wanted.” Jesse himself sounded unsure, like he was waiting for Hanzo to supply him the answer.

Hanzo took Jesse’s hand, leaning back and giving him his full attention. “Is that what you want Jesse? Just because I have not put much thought into it, doesn’t mean I will turn you down if that’s what you want.”

Jesse sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know if that’s what I want either is the problem.” Hanzo hummed in reply, waiting for him to continue. “One part of me is still nervous about paper trails and dreading the thought of a ceremony and planning that I just know everyone would want, and the other part of me wouldn’t mind waking up and seeing a ring on your finger every morning, sharing last names, tax breaks, ya know, simple stuff.”

Hanzo laughed and pushed Jesse slightly getting a chuckle out of him. “Good to know all I’m good for is tax breaks.” He smiled at Jesse. “We don’t have to have a ceremony if you don’t want to. We can always go down to a courthouse and just sign the marriage license. I would like to have Genji there when we sign the papers. He has been bothering me about this for ages.”

McCree’s eyes were wide as he looked at Hanzo. “He has?”  
“Of course he has, when you buy a ring two years into a relationship and still haven’t proposed six years later I’d say he has a right to bother me.” Hanzo looked up at McCree. “Will you marry me?”

McCree choked and then laughed a loud booming laugh, and Hanzo couldn’t help but frown, he went to get up but Jesse stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry sugar, I just wasn’t expecting that today. Although, that is a very you proposal.”

“How so?” Hanzo’s smile was back and he leaned in teasingly.

“Practical, straight to the point, and still utterly surprising.”

“Is that a yes?” Hanzo beamed.

“Yeah darlin’ I’d say so.” Jesse’s face hurt from smiling so much. “Now where’s my ring? I expect nothing less than 45 carat deep blue diamond stolen just for me.”

“What a coincidence.” Hanzo smiled over his shoulder as he led the two of them into the house. Daisy running by them first. “I have a diamond that exact carat and color not at all stolen from Museum of Natural History, and most definitely not named the Hope Diamond.”

“Oh my god, the most definitely not Hope Diamond, all for me. You shouldn’t have.” Jesse did his best impression of a fainting southern belle.

“I love you.” Hanzo meant it, as he always did, as he always would. “You are a man without measure and all of the words in all of our combined languages couldn’t describe how much I adore you.”

Jesse stared at Hanzo, shocked and a little in awe of his partner, his fiancee. “Is it cheap to say ditto? Because I don’t think I could have phrased it any better. I love you, forever.”

Hanzo smirked and grabbed Jesse’s hand leading him upstairs and to their room. “It better be forever, I’m looking forward to those tax breaks.”

Jesse and Hanzo’s laughter echoed throughout the house and bounced off the walls, climbing through the rafters until it was indiscernible who’s laughter was who’s, as it should be, as it always would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDN'T READ THROUGH THIS AT ALL I'M SO SORRY FOR ALL THE ERRORS (probably). I am tired. I am late with this because I am tired. Don't start a diet and eat healthy after years of trash kids. It'll fuck you up.  
> A few things,  
> CALTL or Cattle was a real chicken that I knew growing up. She eventually died of heat stroke again unfortunately, but in this story she lives a long happy horse chicken life.  
> New headcanon, Hanzo loves reading terrible YA novels, and enjoys them, end of story.  
> McCree's horse's name is a reference to a western, it is my favorite western, and can be found in full for free on youtube. Go enjoy My Name is Nobody, please I want to talk about how much I love this movie.  
> Chimera is absolutely a reference of Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, which I still haven't finished god not spoilers please. I've survived this long.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking through this hot mess and hopefully enjoying and for commenting and giving kudos. It means a lot to see people enjoy my work. I know there's a lot I need to work on still, and I'm only going to get better by writing, so I guess this isn't a hot mess. I had fun and I enjoyed this, I hope you all did as well. 
> 
> P.S. Seriously go watch My Name is Nobody and if you don't wanna watch My Name is Nobody watch the My Name is Nobody drinking contest scene. It is a horrible movie and I love it.

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna try and this finish one time this time.


End file.
